ANNOUNCEMENT: The fence sitter support group is back! We will be meeting next Tuesday July 22nd at 7pm EST. I will send out the link for the meeting this Sunday! Hope to see you there! If you can’t make it, or would prefer a different day/time next month, reach out to me so I can collect feedback. Upgrade your subscription to join us!
"What I am regretting is not my son. But being a mom... the subject is me, not my kid."
What happens when the life you thought you wanted becomes your biggest regret? In this raw and honest episode of the Fence Sitter Podcast, I speak with Astrid Hurault de Ligny, author of Le Regret Maternel (The Maternal Regret), who bravely shares her journey about regretting motherhood itself.
Astrid doesn't mince words: she loves her son fiercely—would die for him—but wishes she'd never become a mother. It's a distinction that feels impossible to hold, yet she articulates it with clarity. As someone who followed the checklist (great husband, stable life, genuine love for kids), her story reveals how societal expectations can collide with reality in ways we never anticipate.
Through therapy she's learned to separate her love for her son from her regret about choosing motherhood—a nuance our culture rarely allows space for.
I’ve talked a lot about my fears of regretting motherhood when I was on the fence. And it’s really hard to find someone who is open about it to talk to. So when I heard about Astrid, I jumped at the opportunity to interview her.
Some highlights from our conversation:
The perfect storm of circumstances: one-year maternity leave alone, job loss, undiagnosed ADHD, and a partner who initially couldn't understand why she was drowning
The mental load disparity that nearly broke her marriage
How she's learned to live with regret: "It is not as heavy as it was before... I have worked a lot on myself"
Her hard-won wisdom for fence sitters: "Talk with your partner about the reality of being a parent. If your relationship is not really strong, don't think that having a kid will restore it because it won't"
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