I love what you’ve highlighted here about making parenting work for you. Also about how there are multiple ways to do things well. Tbh I’m still figuring out how to make it work for me in a lot of different ways & my daughter is 8 months old. A small way in which I have made it work for me is that of bedsharing (following safety guidance ofc) as I’ve found everyone gets more sleep this way (as were breastfeeding.) Also by not following a strict schedule. I’m past the days of sitting resentfully in a dark room getting her to sleep. I don’t look at the clock or wake windows - just her cues.
Also good for you with not being pressured into Breastfeeding - you’re reason not to is very valid & your mental health is more important.
This is brilliant and has been a game changer for me in fence sitting! We talk a lot about how much different we will do parenthood if it happens for us after lots of health issues! Life is too short to live by shoulds that don’t work for all.
Excellent piece! I do think people get a little stuck in the “should” instead of just doing what will work for them. I also didn’t breast-feed, and I’ve talked with other moms who didn’t and that really can be a game changer in making the newborn phase a little bit easier. It’s also really important to have some help and care for the kids so you don’t have to be with them 24/7. My daughter is three and I find that if I wake up before her and even have 15 minutes to myself, it changes my attitude for the whole day.
Hi, I'm new here and as a long-time fence sitter desperately trying to come to a conclusion at crunch time I am delighted to discover this stack and these articles.
I love this article as it is something I have thought about myself but never really seen discussed. This question really spoke to me and it is a relief to see it put out there :
"I ask them, "If you could do parenthood however you wanted to do it and it would be accepted and you could know that nothing bad would happen... would you then want to have a child?""
Thank you so much, your unique perspective as a former fence sitter "from the other side" is so incredibly helpful. I relate to much of what I have read so far and appreciate you so generously sharing insights and wisdom. I look forward to discovering many more articles.
Thank you so much for the offer, I saw your post about that. I would have been keen to join but I live in France so unfortunately it will be too late for me to join you.
I love what you’ve highlighted here about making parenting work for you. Also about how there are multiple ways to do things well. Tbh I’m still figuring out how to make it work for me in a lot of different ways & my daughter is 8 months old. A small way in which I have made it work for me is that of bedsharing (following safety guidance ofc) as I’ve found everyone gets more sleep this way (as were breastfeeding.) Also by not following a strict schedule. I’m past the days of sitting resentfully in a dark room getting her to sleep. I don’t look at the clock or wake windows - just her cues.
Also good for you with not being pressured into Breastfeeding - you’re reason not to is very valid & your mental health is more important.
💗💗thanks for sharing
This is brilliant and has been a game changer for me in fence sitting! We talk a lot about how much different we will do parenthood if it happens for us after lots of health issues! Life is too short to live by shoulds that don’t work for all.
Thanks so much for reading!!
Excellent piece! I do think people get a little stuck in the “should” instead of just doing what will work for them. I also didn’t breast-feed, and I’ve talked with other moms who didn’t and that really can be a game changer in making the newborn phase a little bit easier. It’s also really important to have some help and care for the kids so you don’t have to be with them 24/7. My daughter is three and I find that if I wake up before her and even have 15 minutes to myself, it changes my attitude for the whole day.
Totally agree!
Hi, I'm new here and as a long-time fence sitter desperately trying to come to a conclusion at crunch time I am delighted to discover this stack and these articles.
I love this article as it is something I have thought about myself but never really seen discussed. This question really spoke to me and it is a relief to see it put out there :
"I ask them, "If you could do parenthood however you wanted to do it and it would be accepted and you could know that nothing bad would happen... would you then want to have a child?""
Thank you so much, your unique perspective as a former fence sitter "from the other side" is so incredibly helpful. I relate to much of what I have read so far and appreciate you so generously sharing insights and wisdom. I look forward to discovering many more articles.
Thank you so much for reading and being here!! We are going to be doing a support group in July 22nd if you’d like to join us!
Thank you so much for the offer, I saw your post about that. I would have been keen to join but I live in France so unfortunately it will be too late for me to join you.
Fence sitter, and found this to be a very comforting and assuring read. Thank you for writing about the nuances.
You’re so welcome!
restacking and subscribing hope the favor will be returned. I will be reading your stuff.
https://healingjournalwithsophie.substack.com/p/sudden-appearance-of-anxiety-in-children?r=5oan8y