This is one of my favorite pieces of yours since I subscribed!! I totally agree with everything you said here. The early-stage overwhelm/societal support combo is huge. My husband and I are planning to have a baby in the next few years and the only thing keeping us from doing it now is we don’t have enough money saved (we’re in the US). We have a couple friends in the Netherlands and Germany and the healthcare, parental leave, and childcare policies are enough to make us consider moving (and the current state of affairs in the US only adds to it)…if only our families and other friends wouldn’t be so far away, I really think we’d go. We need better financial and societal support for parents!!!
Let's stop demonizing people who speak the truth about parenting, it is hard! The U.S. doesn't support parents. Women take the brunt of it. It's hard, why are we sugar coating it?
My mom wanted to make sure I knew how hard it was so I could make an informed decision. Her own mother said she shielded her from the realities of parenting because, she feared, if my mom knew the truth, she wouldn't do it. That's wrong.
I’m a mom of two littles, and I think her comments are accurate. Parents resent being parents and parenthood is incredibly hard. And I agree with you that the system is broken. However, I think the solution is actually generational living. From my experience, having grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. around to step in and give mom a break has been transformational for how I parent. Knowing that I have a support system that loves me, has been through the same struggles I’m currently going through and wants to help, AND lives within walking distance, has been a game changer.
Of course this isn’t possible for everyone, especially if your relations with your family are unsafe or toxic at best. But I truly believe that if moms were able to have some sort of personal support system ideally other moms, both their own age and older, that can support them.
Preach it, Amanda!! I have been LUCKY so far to have five day a week childcare for 98% of my parenting experience….and it makes it so that in my “on” hours I’m mostly happy and patient rather than watching the clock/frustrated/overwhelmed. Everyone should have this!! reliable daily childcare should not available to only those with $1000-2000 extra a month (or more) - that’s ridiculous.
Stupid comment by a stupid guest on a stupid podcast. This is as dumb as saying: learning music or studying is super hard; I have no clue why people do it all the time.
You also missed an important aspect of having kids is retirement. If a significant portion of people stop having kids, the duty of ensuring that elderly population have a good retirement falls on lesser number of people and causes a lot of societal trouble. In this aspect, millennials not wanting kids are freeloaders as they contributed less to their elders (because of large population base of millennials) and are taking more.
PS: all of Europe has low TFR because of excessive materialism and they see the role of European society in the last century being negative because of the world wars. I see the American population also buying similar ideology of Climate change and Middle-East wars.
This is one of my favorite pieces of yours since I subscribed!! I totally agree with everything you said here. The early-stage overwhelm/societal support combo is huge. My husband and I are planning to have a baby in the next few years and the only thing keeping us from doing it now is we don’t have enough money saved (we’re in the US). We have a couple friends in the Netherlands and Germany and the healthcare, parental leave, and childcare policies are enough to make us consider moving (and the current state of affairs in the US only adds to it)…if only our families and other friends wouldn’t be so far away, I really think we’d go. We need better financial and societal support for parents!!!
Thank you so much 💗💗
Let's stop demonizing people who speak the truth about parenting, it is hard! The U.S. doesn't support parents. Women take the brunt of it. It's hard, why are we sugar coating it?
My mom wanted to make sure I knew how hard it was so I could make an informed decision. Her own mother said she shielded her from the realities of parenting because, she feared, if my mom knew the truth, she wouldn't do it. That's wrong.
I’m a mom of two littles, and I think her comments are accurate. Parents resent being parents and parenthood is incredibly hard. And I agree with you that the system is broken. However, I think the solution is actually generational living. From my experience, having grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. around to step in and give mom a break has been transformational for how I parent. Knowing that I have a support system that loves me, has been through the same struggles I’m currently going through and wants to help, AND lives within walking distance, has been a game changer.
Of course this isn’t possible for everyone, especially if your relations with your family are unsafe or toxic at best. But I truly believe that if moms were able to have some sort of personal support system ideally other moms, both their own age and older, that can support them.
Such a balanced and much-needed perspective - thanks for another great piece, Amanda!
Thank you Keltie!!
Preach it, Amanda!! I have been LUCKY so far to have five day a week childcare for 98% of my parenting experience….and it makes it so that in my “on” hours I’m mostly happy and patient rather than watching the clock/frustrated/overwhelmed. Everyone should have this!! reliable daily childcare should not available to only those with $1000-2000 extra a month (or more) - that’s ridiculous.
Yes!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Hope you’re doing well 💗
Stupid comment by a stupid guest on a stupid podcast. This is as dumb as saying: learning music or studying is super hard; I have no clue why people do it all the time.
You also missed an important aspect of having kids is retirement. If a significant portion of people stop having kids, the duty of ensuring that elderly population have a good retirement falls on lesser number of people and causes a lot of societal trouble. In this aspect, millennials not wanting kids are freeloaders as they contributed less to their elders (because of large population base of millennials) and are taking more.
PS: all of Europe has low TFR because of excessive materialism and they see the role of European society in the last century being negative because of the world wars. I see the American population also buying similar ideology of Climate change and Middle-East wars.