I am a fence sitter and find having to make this decision so hard due to the nature of it’s a decision you cannot change unlike most other decisions you make in life and the short window of time we have to make it. If you don’t like a job you can get a new one, breakups and divorce are options to end a relationship, moving when you want a new space is always in the cards, some friendships are for a season and not a lifetime. The permanence of the decision to have a child without having a way to experience it is so scary. I think that is why as a childfree person I cling to the experiences and words of those around me who are parents but at the same time I realize I am not experiencing the love they receive in return so it is not a full representation. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I look forward to reading more in the future.
Loved this and relate so deeply. To the push pull feeling of loving my son so fiercely and feeling completely depleted most of the time. Just spent a weekend similar to the one you describe…back in Chicago without kids for a few days reclaiming what is always in me even when I’m in the working/parenting shuffle: a carefree, vibrant, silly, loud, calm woman who just wants to dance 🪩 She always there beneath the surface, it’s just most days she has a bunch of other shit to do.
I am a fence sitter and find having to make this decision so hard due to the nature of it’s a decision you cannot change unlike most other decisions you make in life and the short window of time we have to make it. If you don’t like a job you can get a new one, breakups and divorce are options to end a relationship, moving when you want a new space is always in the cards, some friendships are for a season and not a lifetime. The permanence of the decision to have a child without having a way to experience it is so scary. I think that is why as a childfree person I cling to the experiences and words of those around me who are parents but at the same time I realize I am not experiencing the love they receive in return so it is not a full representation. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I look forward to reading more in the future.
I COMPLETELY relate to this and think it is the hardest thing about having kids!
Loved this and relate so deeply. To the push pull feeling of loving my son so fiercely and feeling completely depleted most of the time. Just spent a weekend similar to the one you describe…back in Chicago without kids for a few days reclaiming what is always in me even when I’m in the working/parenting shuffle: a carefree, vibrant, silly, loud, calm woman who just wants to dance 🪩 She always there beneath the surface, it’s just most days she has a bunch of other shit to do.
Yesss love this! Thanks for your comment Kaitlyn!