Thank you for this, and for everything that you share. In case you needed any more encouragement, I love being an only child. :) I always thought I wanted siblings when I was a kid, but I'm so grateful for how loving and involved my parents were. I have my cousins (some who are also only children), lifelong friends that became chosen family, and my siblings-in-law, so I don't feel like I missed out on much. I have no doubt that your daughter will have a life full of love and friendship. She'll grow up knowing that she can make choices based on her own values and needs, as her parents have modeled for her. Go you!
One of my best friends growing up was an only child and her house was always so peaceful. No little siblings following us around or older siblings hogging the toys/TV/computer. She had tons of friends so she had no shortage of peer relationships. I have a brother whom I love very much but we are 6 years apart and not very emotionally close, so it's also not fair to assume a sibling will always be a best friend anyway. No reason to feel guilty for making this choice! Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who has so thoughtfully considered their options and decided on what's best for the whole family.
Exactly my belief too! It frustrates me so much when it is assumed siblings will be close. Some are and it’s wonderful but some are not. Having a sibling is not a guarantee for a best friend
My only graduated this past May, from high school. I wrote about my experience of having them leave the nest and it was widely circulated at a major publisher. I was STUNNED with the comments I got that if I were so heartbroken about my newly graduated child I should…any guess? That’s right. Have another one! Gobsmacked as I (clearly, wrongly) assumed those asinine comments were well and truly over for us. Maddening!
Thank you thank you thank you for this. I cannot aptly describe what a breath of fresh air reading this was. Especially this bit: "But I firmly believe that having one child makes me a better parent. And as parents aren’t we supposed to be the best parents we can be? It’s funny how we tell parents to put their own oxygen mask on first (aka take care of themselves), but then get mad at them when they do."
For so many reasons, I am OAD and have been since basically the moment my son and I arrived home from the hospital 2.5 years ago, but mostly it is for this reason: another child would almost certainly ruin me -mentally and physically- for myself and my existing family. I refuse to do that to any of us. And anyone who has a problem with it, well... I may just tell them to kick rocks and give them a link to this post. <3
Thanks for sharing this. I feel very similarly to you, although our child who is now 15 month was very unexpected, a complete surprise. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, we are in our early 30’s, I just never saw myself with kids and didn’t have a desire for kids. I saw my friends have kids and from an onlookers perspective found it messy, tedious and tiring! And this is pretty much my experience of the reality of having a child! I like you find it very over stimulating and don’t have a great desire to ‘be needed’ I’ve always been very self sufficient and independent, my husband too. I think this is part of what makes it so hard, I have lots of things that I enjoy. We are one and done and I don’t feel guilt or grief about it. I think everyday it is crazy that we even have a child! I think there’s so many benefits to just one particularly in regards to being there for others, and being able to host more friends/families, share with drops offs, cook meals for friends having their 2nd, 3rd etc. Every child will have a unique experience of their upbringing regardless of what we do or don’t do. I joke that every parent should set aside therapy money for their child! The diversity of family life is part of what makes it beautiful.
Thank you for this, and for everything that you share. In case you needed any more encouragement, I love being an only child. :) I always thought I wanted siblings when I was a kid, but I'm so grateful for how loving and involved my parents were. I have my cousins (some who are also only children), lifelong friends that became chosen family, and my siblings-in-law, so I don't feel like I missed out on much. I have no doubt that your daughter will have a life full of love and friendship. She'll grow up knowing that she can make choices based on her own values and needs, as her parents have modeled for her. Go you!
I love this so much thank you so much for sharing this with me. 💗💗💗
One of my best friends growing up was an only child and her house was always so peaceful. No little siblings following us around or older siblings hogging the toys/TV/computer. She had tons of friends so she had no shortage of peer relationships. I have a brother whom I love very much but we are 6 years apart and not very emotionally close, so it's also not fair to assume a sibling will always be a best friend anyway. No reason to feel guilty for making this choice! Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who has so thoughtfully considered their options and decided on what's best for the whole family.
Exactly my belief too! It frustrates me so much when it is assumed siblings will be close. Some are and it’s wonderful but some are not. Having a sibling is not a guarantee for a best friend
Just the read I needed shared by another sub stacker. Thank you!
Thanks for reading!!
My only graduated this past May, from high school. I wrote about my experience of having them leave the nest and it was widely circulated at a major publisher. I was STUNNED with the comments I got that if I were so heartbroken about my newly graduated child I should…any guess? That’s right. Have another one! Gobsmacked as I (clearly, wrongly) assumed those asinine comments were well and truly over for us. Maddening!
Omg!!!! It’s so disappointing. Also I would love to read your piece!
Here you go! https://www.today.com/today/amp/rcna150929
Thank you!!
Thank you thank you thank you for this. I cannot aptly describe what a breath of fresh air reading this was. Especially this bit: "But I firmly believe that having one child makes me a better parent. And as parents aren’t we supposed to be the best parents we can be? It’s funny how we tell parents to put their own oxygen mask on first (aka take care of themselves), but then get mad at them when they do."
For so many reasons, I am OAD and have been since basically the moment my son and I arrived home from the hospital 2.5 years ago, but mostly it is for this reason: another child would almost certainly ruin me -mentally and physically- for myself and my existing family. I refuse to do that to any of us. And anyone who has a problem with it, well... I may just tell them to kick rocks and give them a link to this post. <3
Thank you for this comment! So glad it resonates! We are not alone!
Thanks for sharing this. I feel very similarly to you, although our child who is now 15 month was very unexpected, a complete surprise. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, we are in our early 30’s, I just never saw myself with kids and didn’t have a desire for kids. I saw my friends have kids and from an onlookers perspective found it messy, tedious and tiring! And this is pretty much my experience of the reality of having a child! I like you find it very over stimulating and don’t have a great desire to ‘be needed’ I’ve always been very self sufficient and independent, my husband too. I think this is part of what makes it so hard, I have lots of things that I enjoy. We are one and done and I don’t feel guilt or grief about it. I think everyday it is crazy that we even have a child! I think there’s so many benefits to just one particularly in regards to being there for others, and being able to host more friends/families, share with drops offs, cook meals for friends having their 2nd, 3rd etc. Every child will have a unique experience of their upbringing regardless of what we do or don’t do. I joke that every parent should set aside therapy money for their child! The diversity of family life is part of what makes it beautiful.
Thank you for sharing this! Agree with all these great benefits! Messy, tedious and tiring oh man it is!